Ever 28 aka 28, 28, 28

I'm 28 today. It's not my birthday. This is the year I tried to understand everybody else's perspective. Oh boy did that **** me up. Today I feel like a 5 year old, rebuilding my own perspective, reestablishing who I am and what I stand for but in new light. I feel dumber than ever.

Once in blue moon I take a two minute walk from the space station. I can't help but notice how beautiful the world looks these days. The sky is still blue, the trees have color. I wonder where Pep will be next year.

Where I could have been

Why don't I fit in? Why can't I see eye to eye with most people? What is it about most people not being able to see the world the way I do? I have a strong unusual personality.

On the surface, it appears as if most people lack depth and substance. I don't need somebody to coach me to tell me I can do whatever I put myself to. I can do that on my own. And even when you start doing the impossible, what sucks is, that to do anything, there must be some sort of approval or acceptance from the general public. By design, the public decides what average is and what the boundaries of moral relativity are. And they are not wrong, not ever. The thing about that is that nobody knows what the best is, people only know what they like and what they don't but what they don't know is what they want. Again, this is by design.

They know what hard work and success looks like but don't know what it takes to get there. Some people don't care about any of the above, they only want to hear what's pleasant to them.

Everyday, it's a constant struggle. Most people just want to be accepted but they only really need to accept themselves. They prefer to hear what sounds pleasant to them. They keep doing what feels right for them, that first feeling and not the future feeling. If they could see past that...

Just so you know

The shit I post here is just for me. Go home.

Where was I...Ah, yes. Empathy.

How to Get Better at Call of Duty, Faster - Beginners guide

Before reading this there are some things you should know about me. At my core, I'm a thinker. I want to slow things down so I can understand it better. I think first before I react. I'm always deconstructing. I'm not the type that's running and jumping all over the place, it just doesn't suit me. I have a family and run my own business which means I always have things on my mind that I just can't put aside while I'm playing. I'm competitive.

I recently did an experiment on FIFA 2015 where I got from Div 10 to div 1 in 3 months. That's the top 5%. It required a lot of losing (learning without fear) and experimenting and found out that being good at FIFA is mostly about being able to read the AI and then adapting based on how the AI of both your team and the opponent's changed throughout the the 90 minutes. If you made the right call, the game could turn in your favor quickly. It's all about the AI.

Call of duty online is a totally different beast. I just started playing Call of Duty AW in December 2014. In fact, it's the first time I've played an FPS and my goal is to do the same...get better faster. I'll put my progress here as time goes by.

First off. Most of the people I play with online have been playing the COD series, everyday, since the first COD of at least since 2011.

My first two months sucked very badly. I could not get past 10 kills on TDM. But I wasn't trying to get better faster I was only getting a feel of it. On the other hand I was playing FIFA since 1999 but I only recently wanted to get competitive about it. I thought it was about skill moves and flare or having it or not having it in you, but after going at it seriously, I found out that the most important thing was learning to read the AI, properly.

Right now, I'm of the belief that COD is not about aiming skills, it's about knowing the map, your movement around the map, a little bit of anticipation, and if you can keep calm while firing. But I could be wrong. Which is why I'm experimenting. At the end I hope to have about 10 straight forward guidelines that can get you from noob to 20+ kills.

My biggest problems sounded like: Why am I getting killed so easily. If they see me first, I'm dead 90% of the time. Their aim is so accurate and fast. Campers get me all the time. If I play too cautiously, I won't get any kills. If I don't see anybody coming, when is it time to step out or forward to find an enemy? The moment I step out, I die. When do I aim down sights? Do I aim down before I star shooting or do I shoot first then aim. How often should I be aiming down?

I use only assault rifles...AK12, BAL, ARX. I  have never used sniper guns or shots guns. I don't use score streaks. I don't prestige. My goal is to kill more, die less...basically keep a positive K/D. Consistently. I could care less about XP points, I simply want to get better at killing. Faster. Which is why I play Hardcore TDM, KC. My sensitivity fluctuates from 6 to about 9. I use foregrip, semtex, red dot, extended mags. I use kontrol freaks and the PS4 gold headset.


At the moment, I'm playing very slow and cautiously.

This is what I've learned so far:

1 - Stay on the edge of the map, you will die more in the middle.
2 - Play in a certain area of the map for a while before pushing to another. Don't go from corner to corner in 10 seconds unless you are very certain of the opponents' positions.  Play smart, before you move know where you are going and why and know where there's usually a lot of people running out from
3 - Don't camp. Some movement is required for you to understand what's happening around you.
4 - Don't get frustrated. Don't play their game, play yours. If you start dying a lot, calm down. Play smart. Be patient and make sure your body is not fatigued or you're not lagging. Drink water. Take your vitamins, say your prayers.
5 - Walk more. Sprint less, jump only when necessary. Pay attention to how many boosts remain in your exo.
6 - Aim down sights more, especially around corners or through doorways
7 - Look far first when you're looking at an open area.
8 - Hide behind objects or walls when possible.
9 - Get on the ground or hide when reloading, always. You'll stay alive longer.
10 - Always try to anticipate where the opponents are spawning or where the movement is happening. Listening on a surround sound device helps.You need to be aware of what's going on, all the time.
11 -  Keep calm and be quiet. Example, if you're behind an opponent and he doesn't see you, take time to make sure he's on target before you fire.
12 - If you're running in a tight space, be ready to hip fire.
13 - If you want to get more kills you will have to be more aware of what's going on. Once you play with these tips for a while,  aiming down faster, accuracy...will all fall into place. Make sure you have your right sensitivity.

Update May 7, 2014
It's working! I played tonight and I maintained 15-20+ kills on average with 1+ k/d about 85% of the matches in kill confirmed. I started playing this way very slowly for the first 2 days.  Today, the third day, I felt a bit more comfortable and sure about what was going on on the map. I got a few blood thirsty and double kill medals. Getting better at strafing.

My class: ARX Damnation with red dot, fore grip, quick draw, UAV with threat detection and support, lightweight, that thing that makes you invisible to UAVs (makes you stay alive longer), and toughness. Sensitivity 7 with kontrol freak on the right.