Apparently

Apparently, I have mild aspergers and hyperfocus adhd. The latter requires me to exercise as often as I eat and sleep. 

Damn, rewiring your brain takes a really long time, I've been tracking a thing for 8 years and another thing for 4 years, simultaneously but not deliberately simultaneously, just apparently.

Hard skills require so many more reps, soft skills less reps and easier. Both very expensive.

The clear path

Is clear.

Here we go again

Well fuck. To the place I can go to to speak my mind. Thanks for always being here. Find yourself. Your true self.

Give them some

Give them what they want first, and them some. If that's too slow, just give them some from the get go. Then live in that some and be better at some and some. You'll always be behind on everything so get out there and get ahead.

Same thing

We all want the same thing, over and over again, everybody, all the time.

What do you know

Wow, I'll be 29 soon. We're up to 4 right now. I'm still trying to figure everybody out and it's making me dumb by the minute. Pep is at City but we got Mou. Well, well, well?

Be you. Be different.

Poison. We're surrounded by it. Rise up. Rise above. Statement. Make a statement. Boom boom boom. Fight fight fight.

Ever 28 aka 28, 28, 28

I'm 28 today. It's not my birthday. This is the year I tried to understand everybody else's perspective. Oh boy did that **** me up. Today I feel like a 5 year old, rebuilding my own perspective, reestablishing who I am and what I stand for but in new light. I feel dumber than ever.

Once in blue moon I take a two minute walk from the space station. I can't help but notice how beautiful the world looks these days. The sky is still blue, the trees have color. I wonder where Pep will be next year.

Where I could have been

Why don't I fit in? Why can't I see eye to eye with most people? What is it about most people not being able to see the world the way I do? I have a strong unusual personality.

On the surface, it appears as if most people lack depth and substance. I don't need somebody to coach me to tell me I can do whatever I put myself to. I can do that on my own. And even when you start doing the impossible, what sucks is, that to do anything, there must be some sort of approval or acceptance from the general public. By design, the public decides what average is and what the boundaries of moral relativity are. And they are not wrong, not ever. The thing about that is that nobody knows what the best is, people only know what they like and what they don't but what they don't know is what they want. Again, this is by design.

They know what hard work and success looks like but don't know what it takes to get there. Some people don't care about any of the above, they only want to hear what's pleasant to them.

Everyday, it's a constant struggle. Most people just want to be accepted but they only really need to accept themselves. They prefer to hear what sounds pleasant to them. They keep doing what feels right for them, that first feeling and not the future feeling. If they could see past that...

Just so you know

The shit I post here is just for me. Go home.

Where was I...Ah, yes. Empathy.