Now Online: Leonardo Melendez Photography

Finally got a break to launch my photography portfolio at leonardomelendez.com.

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It's So Good for You, You Have No Idea

Cup of tea anyone? I've gathered a pound of panda droppings. I concur, it goes well with tea. Don't laugh, it's true. It's healthier than green tea, I can tell you that. It's one of those things that once you taste it, you never forget it. I take mine with two drops. It's two blues a drop for you my friend but it's so good for you, you have no idea.

If only I was working out

True story. Was out Saturday night, when around 2am I went to pick up my truck in front of Nahil Mayab. As I opened the door some guy was in there sleeping!

The fool fell asleep half way through his crime. He packed everything that was inside the truck into a bag: documents, garbage, my take out ceviche included. Maybe, just maybe, he was cleaning up for me. The dark fella stood up, beer bottle in hand, said a few words and walked away like nothing happened. "Nothing missing mein, check it."

I was high like a kite at the time but there was enough sense in me not to start an altercation. I mean, come on, I'm in no shape to pick a fight. This town needs to invest in a Batman and I need to start working out.

Granny Mrs. Quan

[Excerpt from January 2008 entry Walkman.]

This morning I couldn’t help but notice a figure sitting on the couch. I walked by thinking “white-haired, aged, short, soft and stocky figure?… must be a troll”. Not sure if she's enjoying the weather or praying but my grandma’s been sitting on that couch since she got here.

This is the grandma dad imported to “fix” our terrorist ways while we were growing. The level of respect and order she demanded set her apart from any granny in the world. She used to strike us with a stick because we looked too tender. Granny Mrs. Quan’s presence terrified us (which perfectly explains why my bed’s been well spread this week).

She’ll be in for a few more days but who’s counting?

My Little Accident on Riverside Street

Yesterday I was lucky. I'm in a V8 Dodge something when I try to overtake a crawling car on Riverside Street. I hit the gas too hard, my truck skids and the rear tire explodes on the sidewalk. I lose control for a second. What a show!

Landy from Hotel de la Fuente is in the passenger side. He's the one that changes my tire because I'm still a pussy.

Drive cautiously. Stop driving 100+mph on that Cancun highway, because, when your car gets a flat while you're busting a move, it's not a good feeling.

Tighten Your Butt Holes

We got a new house maid today. It's been a while but we need it. Let's see how long before things start go missing. Ugggh!

What Have I Done?

This work is eating my soul!

Today is the Day

Tracy will eff me up if I don't clean the bathroom.

That Thing About the Chinese

Took my first bath of the week this morning. Watched some Skins (UK version). It's Wednesday. I'm feeling right.

I step out to get a can of spaghetti and meatballs at the chinese. A cute chinese baby is lying down on the counter, steering at me cheerfully as I walk in. But really, she's smiling because they're cleaning her filth on the grocery counter. That's the same counter we (me and Smeagol) buy Happy Cow cheese from, where they slice Happy Cow!

I get home and have my small meal, in search of solace, with only one thing in mind—culture my ass!