No Ipods This Christmas

Last week, I locked eyes with a wide-eyed stranger while riding my five year old Jamis cross country uphill towards work. Two things came to mind: either that I had met this guy once upon a time in Mexico or that I should have removed my nerdy spectacles the instance I stepped out for fresh air.

He went down the opposite direction when the traffic ahead caught my attention. I stopped at the intersection giving way to the noisy engines and lo, beside me like a predator sneaked up Mr. Stranger. "Buay, you know anybody weh want buy wan ipod"?

Oh okay, he's selling a hot mp3 player. Actually about four for $30 BZ a pop! He confessed about breaking into a warehouse or something of the sort. Sounded super fishy, but who cares, show me the good stuff.

So I scheduled a meeting at my workplace and before I could settle in, he shows up with a cardboard box enclosed in a black plastic bag. He's quite in a rush this time and looking very desperate. Still on his yellow beach cruiser, he approaches, and says "see it ya, run it now".

My immediate reaction to this is wtf?! I reach over to grab the box he's pushing at me and he reacts. Then I react: "Show me!".

"Buay stop play, dem done see me already, ih deh in ya, jus tek it!"

This time, he shakes the box inadvertently too much and I hear something in there that doesn't sound like four ipods. I retreat leaving behind a long-haired, Antonio Banderas looking mad man in uproar. Emma looks at me on my way in, "Wat you do di li man Leonardo?". I walk towards my desk, pissed. There will be no ipods for me this Christmas.